Archers Should Never Be Fathers
by GACfan13
Summary: It was Clint's day to watch his five-year-old daughter, Julie. Crazy stuff goes down. One-shot I wrote to help with writer's block.


"Julie!" Clint called after his five year old daughter. It was his day to take care of her while Natasha went to work. The archer sighed and leaned against the wall, clearly knowing that his daughter had defeated him. He'd been chasing her for an hour, trying to get her into her bath.

The pitter –patter of feet coming towards him filled his ears, followed by a high pitch, "Daddy, come on!"

"Daddy's tired sweetie," the archer said resting against the wall. The blonde haired, green eyed little girl peered around the corner at her tired father. She ran over to him, her short curls bouncing in her face. She sat down in his lap and beamed up at him. "What are you doing Little Bird?"

She said nothing and just kept a smile plastered on her face. Clint looked at his daughter with an odd expression. _What the heck is she up to? _he thought to himself. "Daddy?" Julie asked, drawing out the a. Clint raised an eyebrow in response. "Can I play with your bow?"

"Absolutely not!" Clint exclaimed. The little girl in his lap pouted. He quickly took the opportunity to pick his daughter up and run towards the bathroom to give her a bath. Julie, as you can probably guess, was not happy with this. She kicked and screamed practically the whole way to the bathroom.

He quickly helped his daughter into the tub. Once Julie was clean, and had made her father's eyes red by throwing a water-shampoo mix at his face, she put on her light purple towel and ran to her room.

"Sweetie, are you sure you can dress yourself?" Clint asked in a puzzled tone.

"Yes Daddy," Julie replied. Clint nodded and walked back to the bathroom to clean up the mess of bubbles Julie had made.

Once he was done he mumbled to himself, "Who teaches her to do this kind of stuff?" He quickly walked into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee when he saw Julie standing on the back of the couch in a pink ballerina costume. He immediately made a bee-line for the living room and picked up his daughter. "Julie," he said warningly.

The blonde five-year-old giggled and ran around the couch to watch TV. "Daddy, can you put on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?"

"Sure Little Bird." The archer grabbed the remote and flipped the channel to Mickey Mouse. Clint quickly went back to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. Secretly, he was praying for Natasha to walk through the door and save him from the little, crazy girl that was his daughter. His thoughts were forgotten when the coffee's alarm went off. He grinned as an idea came into his head. "Julie, come here for a second."

The little girl's feet hit the floor quite loudly as she approached the room. "What is it Daddy?"

"I bet you think that your daddy wouldn't drink this entire pot of coffee in less than four minutes," Clint said, challenging the five-year-old.

The little girl nodded and countered with, "Because you can't Daddy."

"Watch, when that clock hit 1:37," Clint started, pointing at the stove's electric clock, "all this coffee with be, Poof, gone!"

"Nu-uh!" Julie said with a laugh. Clint started drinking chugging the scalding hot drink straight from the coffee pot.

Sure enough, in just three minutes, Clint set the large coffee pot down on the table his daughter had been sitting at. She was glaring at him for proving her wrong. It hadn't lasted long however. The doorbell chimed, and Julie ran from the room yelling, "Charlie!"

Clint laughed before walking to the front door and opened it to see Bruce Banner and his adopted son, Charles, better known as Charlie to the Avengers and their children. Bruce smiled at Clint before letting go of his son's hand as Julie took the other.

"Hey Bruce," Clint greeted the scientist. He opened the door a bit more and let him in.

"Hi Clint," Bruce replied, hanging his coat on one of the hooks. "Natasha working?"

The archer sighed. "Yeah, and Julie's been driving me nuts. More than usual."

Dr. Banner laughed and asked, "Did she finally get a hold of your arrows?"

"No, and thank god for it. She made me chase her around the house and splashed soapy water in my face."

"Well, that would explain your red eyes."

Clint glared at the scientist and went down the hall to check on the two kids, Bruce following quickly behind. They walked into Julie's playroom just as Julie shot one of her suction cup arrows at the target on the door. It hit and glued itself to Clint's forehead as the three watcher tried to hold back their laughing. Clint immediately pinched the suction cup, making it pop off and leave a bright red circle on the archer's forehead.

"Really?" Clint asked, no emotion in his voice what so ever. Charles and Julie just grinned up at the blonde archer.

"Sorry Daddy," the little, green eyed girl said to him.

Clint ruffled his daughter's hair before walking away and saying, "Don't break anything Little Bird." He closed the door behind him and walked back down the hall with Bruce. Once they were sitting on the couch watching NCIS, it happened.

Natasha Barton came home expecting to see her husband and daughter watching TV, eating, or playing. What she didn't expect was her living room to be a war zone when she got home. She looked at her husband's ice arrows that were stuck to the wall and the normal killing arrows lodged into the back of the now flipped over couch.

The agent looked behind the couch to see Clint and Bruce lying unconscious on the floor. There was one thing that puzzled her more than anything else though. Clint didn't have his bow, quiver, or arrows. _Wait, who attacked them if- _she thought as the answer suddenly hit her.

"Juliet Barton, Charles Banner, come here right now!" the red-headed assassin yelled down the hall. The two children came running down the hall. Julie had her father's quiver strapped to her back and the large bow in her hands.

Natasha looked at the two unbelievingly and just shook her head. _Archers should never be fathers,_ Natasha thought.

The rest is history.


End file.
